Written by the same author as The Happiest Baby on the Block, this book promises to "eliminate tantrums" and "help busy parents survive the 'terrible twos' and beyond". I hadn't heard much about it and my daughter was only 13 months old when I read it, but I liked the first book and thought this one might help me prevent some of the bad behaviors from starting.
What I love about both Happiest Baby and Happiest Toddler is that Dr. Karp explains HOW the child's mind is developing and WHY his techniques work. And he does this in a light-hearted and amusing way, often times accompanied by cute cartoon illustrations. I find these explanations help me to understand what he's recommending and why, which makes me better able to remember and use the techniques when I need them.
In this book, Dr. Karp's premise is that children develop in a way similar to how the human species developed over time, and young toddlers are like uncivilized cave people. They have difficulty controlling their emotions and expressing themselves, and when the former (emotions) run rampant, they have even more trouble with the latter (communication). Bearing this in mind, Dr. Karp teaches readers to speak in "toddler-ese", a simplified way of speaking that is easier to understand. It's a little bit similar to how you would talk to someone just learning to speak English (which, technically, is exactly what toddlers are doing). He also recommends FFR, short for the Fast Food Rule. You know how at the drive through they always repeat back to you what you want before telling you what to do ("$5.50, please pull forward"). That's what is recommended with toddlers. Echo their wants and emotions back to them to let them know that you "get it" before continuing on with your request/explanation/etc.
Dr. Karp then goes on to describe how to encourage good and discourage bad behaviors using a green-yellow-red-light system and makes suggestions for handling tantrums.
I obviously can't summarize an entire book into this blog post, but hopefully that gives you a good idea of what it's all about. As I mentioned above, I read this book when my daughter was only 13 months old, so she was only just starting to reach the age when these techniques would be useful and effective. However, it's recommended to start using toddler-ese and the FFR around 9-12 months so that you and your toddler-to-be get used to it (it takes some practice!).
I did have an opportunity to practice this shortly after learning the techniques. I had to take my daughter for a routine blood test (her 12-month lead screen that I'd been putting off). It wasn't easy on her, and by the time it was over she was near hysterics. I brought her into the waiting area, gave her a piece of a graham cracker, and launched into Toddler-ese. "No, no, you say! Stop! Go home! Ok. All Done. Say Good-bye. We go home now" etc. I was amazed how quickly she stopped crying. She gave me this look like "wow, you get it" and started happily cruising around the waiting room while I packed up our things and put on our coats. Granted, in this case what I wanted and what she wanted were the same (to get the heck out of there), but it was still nice to have a calm, happy toddler rather than having wrestle a screaming kid into her car seat!
Overall this book is a light-yet-informative read (my favorite kind!) and the techniques seem like they're going to be very helpful in the years to come! I'm torn as to recommend a "buy" or a "borrow" for this one; you can learn the techniques easily enough from one read-through, but if new behavioral problems crop up during the 1-to-4-year-old period (as I'm sure they will for everybody) you might want to refer back to certain sections. I own my copy, and I'm glad I bought it.
Final Rating: Buy, or Borrow a few times
PS I was recently informed that there is a companion DVD for this title. I have not yet seen it, but I understand that it is useful is demonstrating the techniques described in the book.
